Maria and Hannah come inShe doesn't like them...
Maria and Hannah come inShe
doesn't like them the way she likes the twinsThe
twins are little, like her
She thinks I called Maria and Hannah the Big
Meanies in the used-to-know and realizes she knows
againIt's another thing that's come backThe
name for another detailShe will forget again,
but the next time she remembers, she will remember
longerShe's almost sure of it
She thinks When I try to say Hannah I say "Ird!
Ird!" When I try to say Maria I say "Wee! Wee!"
And they laugh, those meaniesI want my
Daddy and can't remember how to say him; that word
is gone againWords like birds, they fly and fly
and fly awayI say
"First! First!" But they only laugh, those meanies
I'm under the bandage, smelling the iodine, smelly
the sweaty, listening cheap prada to them laughI scream at
them, scream loud, and they run awayNan Melda
comes, her head all red because her hair is
wrapped in the snarfHer roundies flash flash
flash in the sun and you call those roundies
braceletsI say "First, first!" and Nan Melda
64
doesn't knowSo then I say "Ass! Ass!" and Nan
makes me go potty even though I don't need to go
pottyI'm on the potty and see and point"Ass!
Ass!" Daddy comes in"What's this shouting
about?" with all white bubbles on his face except
for one smoothieThat's where he slid the thing
that makes the hair go awayThe room is full of sunnyDust floats in
the sunny and his hand goes through the sunny with
the glass and you call that prettyI cry more afterwards, but from betterHe
kiss me kiss me kiss louis vuitton replicas me, hug me hug me hug me, and
I try to say him - "Daddy!" - and still can't
Then I think around sideways to his name, and John
is there, so I think that in my mind and while I
think John I "Daddy!" out my mouth and he hug me
hug me some more
She thinks Daddy is my first word on this side of
the bad thing
The truth is in the details
2 - Big Pink
i
65
Kamen's geographical worked, but when it came to
fixing what was wrong with my head, I think the
Florida part was coincidentalIt's true that I
lived there, but I never really lived thereNo,
Kamen's geographical worked because of Duma Key,
and Big PinkFor me, those places came to
constitute their own worldPaul on November tenth with hope in my
heart but no real expectationsKathi Green the
Rehab wholesale chanel jewelry Queen came to see me offShe kissed me on
the mouth, hugged me hard, and whispered "May all
your dreams come true, Eddie
"Thanks, Kathi," I saidI was touched even though
the dream I fixed on was of Reba the Anger-
Management Doll, grown to the size of an actual
child, sitting in the moonlit living room of the
house I'd shared with PamThat dream coming true
I could live without
"And send me a picture from Disney WorldI long
to see you in mouse ears
"I will," I said, but I never got to Disney World
Sea World, Busch Gardens, or Daytona Speedway,
eitherPaul, flying in a Lear 55
(successful retirement has its privileges), it was
twenty-four and spitting the first snowflakes of
another long northern winterWhen I landed in
Sarasota it was gucci travel bag eighty-five and sunnyEven
crossing the tarmac to the private air terminal,
still clumping along on my trusty red crutch, I
thought I could feel my hip saying thank you
When I look back on that time, it's with the
strangest stew of emotions: love, longing, terror,
horror, regret, and the deep sweetness only those
who've been near death can knowI think it's how
Adam and Eve must have feltSurely they looked
back at Eden, don't you think, as they started
barefoot down the path to where we are now, in our
glum political world of bullets and bombs and
satellite TV? Looked past the angel guarding the
shut gate with his fiery sword? SureI think they
must have wanted one more look at the green world
they had lost, with its sweet water and cartier woman watches kindhearted
anim